How sad it is to be a Peter Pan...

Does anyone still believe in childhood?

Who was Peter Pan? To many, he was the boy child who escaped from being human and spent the rest of his life with Tinkerbell and friends, indulging in fantasy. He is old yet ageless and he levitates himself above the mundane and the ugly. He can fly because he takes himself lightly. Indeed, lightness is the essence of childhood – for it defies the heaviness of life.

Whatever has happened to childhood? The concept of childhood is being carefully and deliberately dismantled by the society we have created – a society which expects young people to mature rapidly. The pressure to grow up fast and achieve early in areas of sport and academics is clearly evident.

As a teenager I sometimes earned myself some pocket money by babysitting. Armed with my children's books I set out to introduce some of these little ones to Oscar Wilde, the brothers Grimm and Hans Anderson and the likes – but I am outsmarted each time – by a square metal monster which dominates every home and silences every conversation.

The German poet Johan Schiller wrote: “Deeper meaning resides in the fairy tales told to me in my childhood than in the truth that is taught by life.” Indeed! When we reflect about life as we know it today, what does it really teach our children? What have the children of Belfast and Croatia learnt about the realities of life? Oscar Wilde penned profound words in this regard. He wrote: “Give children beauty – not the record of bloody slaughter and barbarous brawls we call history.”

Let us consider 'play', a word synonymous with childhood, and let us view it within a modern framework. A stroll through a toy shop is an eye opener. Plastic weapons, tools of destruction, for little boys. Anorexic, long-legged, perfect Barbie dolls for little girls.

Rounders, hide-and-seek and blind man’s bluff now take a backseat to Karate, Ballet, Modern dancing, etc. I remember a little joke, not so far from the truth, of a person whom, when asked if they liked Kipling, replied: “I don’t know. I have never kippled before!”

The modern child has forgotten how to play for the sheer joy of play. The onus is on winning – being the best, the fastest, the cleverest, or the richest. A while ago a magazine article featured a child gymnast from the Republic of China – children as young as 4 years of age being trained for up to 6 hours per day for the next Olympics!

We see them regularly, on catwalks… little girls striking seductive poses, strutting around like adult caricatures – heavily made up and wearing designer creations. Little boys no longer bare-footed or grubby are now colour co-ordinated in jeans which have been carefully torn by factories instead of horseplay! Not for them the awe and wonder of a kite which dips and sails through the wind and clouds…

Our children are being deprived of a full and memorable childhood. The literature and games of childhood, an essential maxim of mental health are being overlooked. How can young minds comprehend the problems of the world unless they have been given the chance to master the problems of childhood?

At the turn of the century, biologist Karl Gross stated that “play” was a “preparation for life”. The modern child is being coaxed and cajoled into maturity and the games people play. As the 60’s pop song so aptly puts it: “Oh the games people play, every night and every day, never saying what they mean, never meaning what they say.”

Paediatricians caution us that it is essential for babies NOT to skip any physical landmarks in their development – such as crawling, for instance. Does this not apply in equal measure to the emotional developments en route to maturity?

Yes. It is sad to be a Peter Pan – but the benefits far outweigh the disadvantages. There is a joy that defies description – to become immersed in Disney’s Fantasia, to cry when Wilde’s Selfish Giant becomes unselfish, to wonder whether or not there’s a Thumbelina hidden inside a flower’s closed petals.

Brian Aldiss, British Fiction writer, had this to say:
“When childhood dies, its corpses are adults and they enter society – one of the politer names of hell. That is why we dread children, even if we love them, for they show us the status of our decay.”

By hurrying children into adulthood, we are violating the very sanctity of life. We are living in a society where so much emphasis is placed on rights – civil rights, equal rights, workmen’s rights – what have you – and yet we have overlooked maybe the most basic human right of all – the right of every child to be a child.

J.M. Barrie – originator of Peter Pan – asks the question: “Do you pity Peter Pan for making this mistake? To pity him would be impertinence. He thought he was having the most splendid time. He played without ceasing while you waste your time being a mad-dog or hero. He couldn’t be either of these things – but do you think he is to be pitied for that?”

As I take leave of this blog post, I urge you to reach for your metaphorical wings – because it is never too late to be a Peter Pan. So, embark on your own fantasy flight – the sky’s the limit and the air fare is unbeatable. Besides – you’ll be doing this world a favour.