Wednesday, October 30, 2019

Job-searching, teething and commas.

So, I have already broken my promise to myself. It’s been more than a few 'other' days since I last blogged, but, to be honest, my plate has been full and I am in the process of searching for part-time employment. This, alone, has been somewhat of a headache. I haven’t had to look for work for years, and never in Germany. And part-time, English-speaking work in my field makes my options even more elusive. My resume has always been an eyesore, mainly because I have worked at so many different places in varying capacities in my 21 years of ‘adulting’ post-graduation. It would have been so much easier to put together had I worked at, say, only 3 different companies/organizations for long terms.  And then there’s one of my overarching strengths: Attention to Detail, also a weakness when you’re trying to sell yourself in a fast-paced, time-pressed society where cognitive impatience is rife.

Then JJ has been teething badly again with severe sleep deprivation as a consequence... and while I don’t know if it has anything to do with my no longer having a thyroid gland, I do get periods of major exhaustion of late which I don’t have the opportunity to recover from.  But, I am not moaning, just fact-ing...

I have already had a few blogging ideas pop into my mind whilst en route somewhere in my frenetic days of human doing. One thing in particular I wanted to blog about had me worried if the ‘inspiration’ behind it would end up reading it and identifying themselves as the core subject matter. Not many know about my blog, and now I think it would be better if it remained anonymous so that I could use it as my objective space for subjective musings. This also got me thinking about whether or not I am, indeed, judgmental... although I do believe that it is our right to have opinions. We have to have opinions. With self-awareness, one understands that the human brain seems to be hardwired to have opinions. It is part of who we are and how we think, how we understand and gather information and what we believe in. And then I wondered, what is the difference between being judgmental and having an opinion... and I came across a cute explanation. “Having an opinion is a comma. Being judgmental is a full stop.” Having an opinion means that with a pause, someone or something could change it accordingly. It is open to education. Being judgmental is boxing someone to your way of thinking – not listening, not considering the other options or viewpoints... having an opinion that is set in stone, regardless.

So, I would like to think that I am leaning more towards having an opinion than being judgmental. I realize that which I see goes far deeper, and several truths are obscure and unbeknown to me. But, I do formulate opinions based on what I know or think I know... and process them by talking or writing about them. This helps me see the bigger picture and understand myself better. It is interesting to read about how I have reacted to something and then try to figure out why I reacted in this way.  What is it they say about hindsight? So... for future reference, the next time I combobulate my opinions on, this here, MY blog... please remember, it’s a comma. I am, in the final analysis, relearning me... little me, before the world made me noisy. 

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