So, I have already broken my promise to myself. It’s been
more than a few 'other' days since I last blogged, but, to be honest, my plate
has been full and I am in the process of searching for part-time employment.
This, alone, has been somewhat of a headache. I haven’t had to look for work
for years, and never in Germany. And part-time, English-speaking work in my
field makes my options even more elusive. My resume has always been an eyesore,
mainly because I have worked at so many different places in varying capacities
in my 21 years of ‘adulting’ post-graduation. It would have been so much easier
to put together had I worked at, say, only 3 different companies/organizations
for long terms. And then there’s one of
my overarching strengths: Attention to Detail, also a weakness when you’re
trying to sell yourself in a fast-paced, time-pressed society where cognitive
impatience is rife.
Then JJ has been teething badly again with severe sleep
deprivation as a consequence... and while I don’t know if it has anything to do
with my no longer having a thyroid gland, I do get periods of major exhaustion
of late which I don’t have the opportunity to recover from. But, I am not moaning, just fact-ing...
I have already had a few blogging ideas pop into my mind
whilst en route somewhere in my frenetic days of human doing. One thing in
particular I wanted to blog about had me worried if the ‘inspiration’ behind it
would end up reading it and identifying themselves as the core subject matter.
Not many know about my blog, and now I think it would be better if it remained
anonymous so that I could use it as my objective space for subjective musings.
This also got me thinking about whether or not I am, indeed, judgmental...
although I do believe that it is our right to have opinions. We have to have
opinions. With self-awareness, one understands that the human brain seems to be
hardwired to have opinions. It is part of who we are and how we think, how we understand and gather information and what we believe in. And then I wondered,
what is the difference between being judgmental and having an opinion... and I
came across a cute explanation. “Having an opinion is a comma. Being judgmental
is a full stop.” Having an opinion means that with a pause, someone or
something could change it accordingly. It is open to education. Being judgmental is boxing someone to
your way of thinking – not listening, not considering the other options or
viewpoints... having an opinion that is set in stone, regardless.
So, I would like to think that I am leaning more towards
having an opinion than being judgmental. I realize that which I see goes far
deeper, and several truths are obscure and unbeknown to me. But, I do formulate
opinions based on what I know or think I know... and process them by talking or
writing about them. This helps me see the bigger picture and understand myself
better. It is interesting to read about how I have reacted to
something and then try to figure out why I reacted in this way. What is it they say about hindsight? So... for
future reference, the next time I combobulate my opinions on, this here, MY
blog... please remember, it’s a comma. I am, in the final analysis, relearning
me... little me, before the world made me noisy.
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