On-line dating...take one

Recently, East Coast Radio was advertising Luvstruck, the latest on-line dating site which is, I quote, ‘absolutely free’! The Chambers Dictionary, I might add, defines ‘absolutely’ as: separately, by itself; unconditionally; positively; completely.

Considering I have a mater who yearns for grandchildren, and reminds me daily that ‘there are no longer any door-to-door salesmen’, I figured I’d give it a go, albeit as a ‘journalistic’ endeavour. I took at least a few days to pluck up the courage as I have never liked the idea of ‘putting myself out there’ so blatantly. It just seems so desperate and I dare not don that badge!

On with the show…

Carefully, and reluctantly, I compiled a succinct but genuine profile brief including preferred match criteria and photo with pseudonym intact. All done, I clicked out, exhaled (because one tends to hold one’s breath when first stepping out of a comfort zone) and carried on with life as usual. Within twenty-four hours I received email notifications that I already had over twenty fans! I logged in and found that most of my fans extended beyond the boundaries of my preferences. A large chunk of them were the same age as my parents, heaven help! I then received my first ‘personal message’. It came from a middle-aged Mauritian who expressed that he liked the way I ‘sounded’ and just wanted to share his home and wealth with a good woman. Frightened, I blocked him hastily.

Another two days and twenty-odd (and odd) fans later, I received another ‘personal message’; this time from a faceless incognito who stated that the little he had read of me he found appealing. This was followed by an invitation to chat. ‘His’ subtlety provoked a response in me, and I pressed reply only to find that in order to communicate with anyone on this site, you have to register, and this involves payment, of course. You can send predefined one-liners such as “I am not yet a registered member, so I can only send a one-liner”. But for the rest, in order to actually connect with anyone, it is absolutely NOT free.

Curtains down…